christmas decorations

Christmas crackers – Our favourite cracker jokes

We all know Christmas cracker jokes are fairly bad but we still read them anyway. Here are our top 10:

  1. Who hides in the bakery at Christmas? A mince spy.
  2. What would you call a person who is afraid of Santa? Claustrophobic.
  3. What do you give someone who has everything? Penicillin.
  4. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!
  5. A chess club threw a party at a hotel. Afterwards, several members were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to leave. After they left, the manager’s assistant asked, “Why did you make them leave?” “Because,” the manager replied, “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
  6. If Santa and Mrs Claus had twins what do you think they would call them? A pair of subordinate clauses
  7. What did the reindeer say before launching into his comedy routine? This will sleigh you.
  8. How does Santa’s accountant value his sleigh? At its net ‘present’ value.
  9. What did one Christmas cracker say to the other Christmas cracker? My POP is bigger than yours!
  10. What’s the favourite Christmas Carol of new parents? Silent Night!